Only in Dreams
by musiksnob
Summary: Clare is supposed to be studying but she can't get her mind off Eli's skin. This is set during Season 12 somewhere between Come As You Are and Waterfalls. Eclare the way it was supposed to be before the show made everything horrible.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or anything else. If I did, it wouldn't suck like the vast majority of Season 13 has.  
**

**I've been meaning to write this for a while and with everything happening in the Degrassi universe, I thought we all needed some happy sexy Eclare.**

**This is set during Season 12 somewhere between Come As You Are and Waterfalls.**

* * *

Clare had been studying for almost an hour but not one fact about any of the battles Canadian soldiers had participated in during World War II had sunk into her brain. Instead she'd spent most of her time glancing casually at her study partner's left hip. Eli was lying on his stomach, facing the foot of her bed, his head buried in a copy of King Lear for his AP English Class. But his shirt had ridden up a little, leaving a small strip of skin above Eli's jeans bare.

She felt foolish, being so distracted by something as silly as her boyfriend's lower back. But they'd only been back together for a few weeks and they'd been so busy with her internship at the Interpreter and Eli's Romeo and Jules rehearsals that they'd barely gotten to spend any time together. And though their reunion had featured a long series of heated kisses, their limited private time since then hadn't been anywhere as intimate.

They'd been broken up for a long time – over seven months – and though Clare would have sworn she hadn't forgotten a single detail of their relationship, she couldn't remember exactly what that small bit of exposed skin felt like. She must have touched it – though if she was honest with herself, she hadn't spent nearly enough time exploring his body, too fearful of where it might lead. She had never even taken off his shirt, but she was certain that in one of their more passionate moments the fabric must have shifted and her fingers would have grazed this skin.

Clare remembered the first time she had made out with Jake at any length and how he had pulled back from her and torn his shirt over his head without any preamble or hesitance. She'd been surprised and a little confused; he'd been wearing a button down at the time but apparently hadn't wanted to waste even a second fiddling with the line of buttons. But being with a guy like Jake – even if in the beginning it was mostly to get back at Eli – had made her feel adventurous and rather than running away, she had placed her hands on his bare chest and brought her lips back to his.

Clare wrinkled her nose and pushed the memory out of her mind. No matter how she had felt about Jake at the time, she greatly preferred their close, almost familial friendship to their fleeting former romance.

But she wondered why Jake had been so bold with her and Eli never had. Jake was laid-back and went with the flow. Eli was the one who always made large gestures – sometimes to his own detriment.

The only time Eli was careful was when sex was involved.

Clare blushed at the thought. She wasn't interested in sex – well she was _interested_ but not planning on it happening for a while. After Jake had thankfully rejected her, Clare knew that she needed to wait – not for marriage as she'd originally intended, but for the right guy, the right moment, when she knew there would be nothing she could possibly regret.

But even with sex off the table, there was still that bit of skin.

Clare set her history text aside, all pretense of studying dropped. Eli was still buried in his book, clearly unaware of the lascivious thoughts running through his girlfriend's mind. She squinted, trying to get a better look at it. It was February so it wasn't like Eli had a tan but she still thought the skin right above his elbow was darker than the illicit swath poking out above his waistband. It was very smooth, and Clare liked that about him. He didn't even have to shave his face very often but she was rarely bothered by prickly stubble. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss Eli on the soft skin of his back, to linger there, her tongue reaching out to stroke him.

Eli stretched his neck and his whole back shifted. Clare held her breath, afraid to lose sight of that small sliver of skin, but his t-shirt remained bunched at his waist, protecting her precious view.

Eager to get a better look, she leaned forward and knelt next to him. He shifted a bit, as if to give her more room, but continued his reading. Summoning all of her bravery, she reached out and gently caressed the exposed skin. He jerked a little and she realized her courageous gesture had actually tickled him. But even the surprise hadn't torn his attention from his book so she repeated the gesture with a firmer touch, her whole hand spreading across his back, daring to slide a few fingers under his t-shirt to expose even more of him.

Eli couldn't ignore that gesture. "That feels nice," he said, flipping to the next page in his book.

Clare managed to contain her groan of frustration. Here she was, finally touching the skin that had left her so enraptured all afternoon, and Eli thought she was just giving him a simple back massage. It wasn't like Clare went around rubbing random boys' backs and the only other time she had done this to Eli – a few weeks ago when he had slipped during one of his runs and whined about a sore muscle – her hands had decided stayed above his shirt. But now she was trying to get his attention in a less than innocent way and he was still doing homework.

So in a moment of sheer madness, she removed her hand, leaned down, and kissed the skin she had never even considered before this day. And she allowed her tongue to taste him, even daring to nip his flesh with her teeth. She felt a rush through her body – of power, of arousal, of heat.

That got his attention. Clare heard his book slam shut and fall to the floor, and felt his body twisting toward her. She sheepishly met his gaze, but he didn't say anything, just looking at her in what looked like equal parts confusion and amusement.

"What?" she asked finally, unable to take his silence any longer.

He smirked. "I'm just waiting to see what else you might do."

Clare groaned audibly this time and buried her face in her bedspread. "Die of embarrassment," she mumbled, unsure if Eli could even hear her.

She felt him shift on the bed and within seconds, he gathered her in his arms. "Don't be embarrassed," he said. "I liked it."

"I liked it too," she whispered, refusing to meet his eyes.

He took advantage of her angled neck and sucked on the skin just below her ear. "Is there anything else you'd like?"

She bit her lip as her eyes fluttered closed. "Could you…take your shirt off?"

Eli smiled as he studied her face. "Sure," he said earnestly. But his hands were slow and he raised an eyebrow at her to make sure she hadn't changed her mind before slipping his head through the neck hole.

Clare looked down, still a little nervous about being the one to make the first move, and when he twisted to throw his shirt onto the ground behind him, she saw a flash of the skin above his hip that she'd been ogling. She decided that seeing him shirtless wasn't much different, just a whole lot more skin for her to caress and to kiss. And when she scooted closer and drew him into her arms, that was the first place that she touched.

But she didn't stop there, stroking one hand up and down his spine while curving the other around the side of his waist, as she kissed him hungrily, and before long her hands had explored all of his skin, even daring to graze one of his nipples with her fingernail. Eli, on the other hand, held his arms tensed next to his sides, his hands fisting the bedspread, if he had no clue what to do with them now that she had taken the lead in their physical relationship. _Touch me_, she thought, but she wasn't brave enough to say it aloud, and the whimper that escaped her lips wasn't enough of a hint.

Jake hadn't been afraid to touch her, Clare noted with some regret that she was thinking of her ex – and worse, her stepbrother – while making out with her current boyfriend. But unlike Eli, Jake hadn't been afraid to tell her what he wanted or to ask if doing something new was okay. He had never been pushy, and when the answer to his request was "no" – which it frequently was – he had just given Clare a sweet smile to let her know he understood and was okay with it. It had made her feel that even though she was inexperienced, she was an equal partner in their relationship and that he respected her completely.

The fact that Eli treated her with kid gloves was frustrating and upsetting.

Clare tore her lips away with such force that Eli put up his hands in surrender and Clare knew an apology was moments away. She put a finger to his lips to stop him. "Why don't you ever tell me what you'd like to do?" she demanded.

He shared at her in confusion. "Well, I'd like to keep doing what we were just doing."

"No!" she said, wishing she didn't sound so childish as she admonished him. "I mean, specifically." When he didn't respond, she asked, "Don't you want me to take my shirt off?"

He narrowed his eyebrows. "Of course I do," he said. "But only if you want to."

"That's not the point," she sputtered. "I shouldn't have to ask you to tell me what you want."

"As I recall," Eli began patiently, "this all began because I asked you want you wanted…but you shouldn't have to ask me?"

"You should just tell me," Clare mumbled.

She could feel Eli's eyes on her as she tucked her legs in front of her and wrapped herself into a ball. He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the shoulder.

"Do you want to know why I never tell you?" he said softly. She only responded with a half-hearted shrug, but he continued anyway. "Because I want things that you're not ready for. Because I want things you might never be ready for. I don't want to put any pressure on you."

"I can say no, you know," Clare said, still not moving her head from its perch on her knees.

"I know," he confirmed. "But being rejected kind of sucks too. It's easier not to put yourself out there."

Clare remembered the two times she offered to sleep with each of her boyfriends and how badly she had felt afterward even though it was the right thing for both of them to do. "I wouldn't reject everything."

Eli took a moment to respond. "Plus I'm afraid."

Clare looked up at this, meeting his gaze with skeptical eyes. "You're afraid? What on earth do you have to be afraid of?"

"Being with you like this," Eli gestured to his shirtless torso. "Just kissing you, fully clothed. It's so amazing that all I want is more and I'm scared that if we cross any lines I'm going to do something stupid or push you or coerce you into doing more than you're ready for."

Clare looked at him in astonishment. "But you would _never_ do that."

"Impulsive sexual decision-making," Eli recited. "It's right up there on the bipolar symptoms list."

Eli was deadly serious, but Clare couldn't help by laugh. "You willingly date a girl with a purity ring and have stayed on first base for our entire relationship without complaint. I'm pretty sure that's the only bipolar symptom you don't exhibit."

Eli didn't seem convinced so Clare knelt in front of him and took both of his hands in hers. "Trust me," she said. "I trust you completely."

She leaned forward to give him a brief kiss and when she pulled back, a smile spread across his face. "In that case, I'd like it if you took your shirt off."

Clare blushed but her voice was steady. "Okay."

She bit her lip as she looked down at her blouse and slipped the first button through the hole. Her cross necklace appeared and she hesitated before moving to the next one.

Eli's hands covered hers. "You don't have to…"

"I want to," she insisted, tugging the next button through to reveal an ample display of cleavage.

One of Eli's fingers reached out to trace a line from her birthmark and down the curve of her breast and the softness of his touch made Clare feel so loved and desired that her pace quickened as she fumbled with the buttons, no hesitation necessary. When she finished, Eli helped her push the fabric down her shoulders.

"You're lovely," he said, and she giggled at his uncharacteristic word choice.

"Come here," she said, feeling much more comfortable with her chest pressed against his than with his gaze on her body.

Her curly hair was long enough now to graze her shoulders and Eli pushed it aside to kiss her neck. She held tightly to his shoulder blades, as her eyes closed at the sensation. His mouth traveled along her collarbone to wear her thick bra strap met her shoulder. He paused for a second before traveling lower.

"Oh," Clare whispered as Eli's tongue moved over the top of her bra cup. It wasn't the most revealing garment and he wasn't even kissing skin he'd never seen before, but it felt like the most intimate thing they'd ever done, especially when his other hand slide up her side to cup her completely.

"This okay?" he asked softly, kissing as deep into her cleavage as he could reach.

"It's almost not okay enough," she said honestly.

He paused to look up at her curiously and she almost laughed at the site of him bent down between her breasts. She tugged on his arm to pull him back up to face level and then reached around her back to unhook her bra. Before she pulled the straps down her shoulders, she gave him a stern warning, "Don't look."

Eli groaned playfully. "Don't look? That's like taking me to an art museum and telling me I can't see any of the paintings."

Clare rolled her eyes. "Yes, because my body is such a work of art." But she held his gaze and slowly removed the bra.

"See," he said, his eyes never leaving her face as his hand stroked her cheek. "You are _that_ beautiful."

"Look who's talking," she teased, bringing out a smirk that she nearly always enjoyed seeing on his face.

He captured her lips once more and it wasn't until a few minutes later, when they'd shifted their bodies that that Clare was lying against the pillow at the head of her bed and Eli was between her legs, that he finally took the leap and placed his hand on her breast. She let out a shaky moan as he touched her reverently. This was even better than just feeling Eli's skin; their two bodies pressed together created the perfect kind of smooth friction. Clare ripped her lips from his to take his earlobe between her teeth, which gave her the opportunity to tell him, "You feel _so_ good."

Her words set off something in Eli because he quickly dropped his cautiousness and kicked things up a notch. His hands moved up and down her body and his mouth followed suit, leaving her marked with kisses and a trail of fire burning through her body. His hips had already been rocking against hers, but when she used her legs to pull him closer, he gave in and started thrusting against her. Clare was breathing hard, gasping for oxygen whenever Eli's mouth moved to her throat or sucked on her nipple.

Eli had worried about losing control but to Clare, this was the perfect amount of lust and adrenaline. She knew that if she asked him to stop he would without question, but the way his body felt moving over hers told her one thing: she didn't want to.

Eli seemed to be feeling the effects of making out for so long because he buried his face in her shoulder as he continued to thrust against her. Clare's skirt had ridden up enough that she could feel him through his jeans, pressing against her underwear. If this was what it felt like with clothes between them, Clare couldn't even imagine how much more amazing sex would be.

Eli must have been having the same thought. "If we keep doing this, I'm going to come," he warned, and when Clare responded by pressing even harder into him, he asked gently, "Do you think you can come like this?"

"I don't know," Clare whispered honestly. She had masturbated before and sometimes it had worked really well, but she suspected it would require more than grinding up against Eli's jeans to make that happen.

"Could I do it for you?" His hand moved to her inner thigh but it stayed a good distance away from where she really wanted it while he sought her permission.

"Eli, please…"

Clare whimpered when Eli moved off of her and lay down next to her on the bed; she loved how he felt on top of her. But when he slipped a finger into her underwear, she realized there were even better things to come.

She bent her head down to kiss him and his free hand groped her breast as best as he could since he was holding up most of his weight on that arm. She grabbed his hair, her hands rougher than they'd ever been before as he explored between her legs. She almost wished he had taken off more of her clothes before undertaking this, but it felt so good that she wasn't about to stop him. She couldn't stop her hips from moving, from meeting his hand stroke by stroke, from mimicking the act of sex. She wanted him desperately and now she finally understood just why Eli had held back so much before now.

After a few minutes of his deliberate strokes, Clare released Eli and let her head fall back on the pillow. Eli watched her face twist with pleasure with an expression of awe on his own. "You are so sexy," he said, as he slipped a second finger into her and moved his thumb into position over her clitoris.

"Oh, God, Eli…" Clare wasn't even trying to fight the sounds that were coming over her. Clare had felt this intense pressure before but it was even more exciting now that it was Eli who was giving it to her, that he was touching her so intimately, that he was learning her body and what brought her pleasure. She wondered about his body and what he looked like and felt like and _tasted_ like and she let out another loud sound just at that thought of doing things like that with Eli. She could do them right now if she wanted and the intensity of that thought was too much.

The last thing she saw before giving in to the building excitement was Eli's grin. Then she exploded, letting out a loud scream that she didn't even find the slightest bit embarrassing.

The next thing she knew, she landed on the floor, next to her bed, breathing hard but still fully dressed in her pajamas. "Wha- what?!" she mumbled, looking wildly around her room for Eli but finding him missing.

It was a dream, but it had felt so real that she was still coming down from the most intense orgasm of her life. She had never had a lucid dream before but she felt like she had been present for every touch, every thought, every feeling.

And then her door opened.

"Dude," Jake said, making a big show out of covering his eyes. "If you're going to sneak Eli over for morning sex, you might want to make sure Dad and Helen have left the building. They're still in the kitchen and you're lucky they didn't hear you."

"Oh my God…What?...No!" Clare sputtered, unable to believe that her dream self had been so loud that Jake had overheard her and her parents nearly had as well. "Eli's not here. You're hearing things," she said feebly.

Jake uncovered his eyes, glanced around the room much like Clare had done moments earlier, and then fixed his gaze on his stepsister who was still sitting on the floor, tangled in blankets.

"Ohhhhh," he said, nodding in recognition. "But why are you on the floor? Is that some sort of weird girl masturbation technique?"

"Eww, you're gross," she said, reaching up to her bed to throw her pillow at him.

He sidestepped the pillow before it hit him. "I don't know where that thing is been."

"I wasn't…you know," she said, protesting his accusations. "It was just a dream."

Jake whistled. "Must have been some dream." He shook his head. "It's always the quiet ones."

Clare finally felt steady enough to get to her feet, as if proving she was fully dressed corroborated her story. "Too bad for you…I don't think I'd consider Katie Matlin a quiet one." Jake had told Clare about kissing Katie at board game night and though Clare had disapproved of their throwing eggs at Bianca's car, she was glad to see Jake looking so happy over a girl even if they hadn't exactly gotten together yet.

Jake grinned. "No, she's a type-A control freak. Those girls are nuts in the sack."

"I don't need to know this," Clare said.

"I think I'm gonna go swing past the Matlin's house on my rollerblades. See if Katie's around. She seems like the kind of girl who gets up early to go running. Maybe I'll convince her to get hot and sweaty with me."

"Seriously, gross," Clare said, attempting to push Jake out of her room.

"Like you're not going to call up Eli and invite him over to reenact your dream," Jake teased. "Oh, God, Eli…" he faked moaned in a high pitched intonation not unlike Clare's.

"Get out," she said, pushing hard enough that she succeeded. She slammed the door in Jake's laughing place and got back into her bed, covering her face in embarrassment.

But a few minutes later she reached over to grab her phone that had been charging on her nightstand. "Hey Eli….did I wake you? I was wondering if you'd like to hang out sometime today. Maybe I could come to your house…will your parents be around? I can be there in an hour."


End file.
